Fashion for Dummies

{April 5, 2009}   Fashion for Dummies: How to Dress Like a Normal Person

Hello, and welcome to Fashion for Dummies.  As you can probably tell, this blog is to help with all the fashion disasters in the world.  And I know there are a lot among you because I see you every day wherever I go.  I see you at work, malls, and restaurants.  There’s no respite for the visual assault.  I guess that’s why I’m starting this blog – so I can save my own sanity and eyesight.

Despite my online nickname, I’m really not fashion’s diva.  In fact, I come from the geeky side of the tracks.  I never knew how to dress myself either, or put on makeup and such.  But there comes a day when everyone of the XX chromosome variety needs to learn and just be girly and feminine in order to fit in to everyday society.  And we do live on Earth, folks.

I know, I know.  You’re probably cringing as you recall those vapid and insidiously vain individuals who don’t have two brain cells together but boy, can they coordinate!  But as this post is entitled, it’s “How to Dress Like a Normal Person”.   Because other than those really put together people who stand out, guess who else stands out?  The hideously dressed as well!  Therefore, you are put on the spotlight just for being known as someone who can’t dress.  You know the show “What Not to Wear?”  They don’t makeover the average.  They only makeover the true fashion disasters.  So why don’t we aim for something modest and go for just dressing like a normal person.

Oh by the way, this blog is mainly aimed towards females – hence, the girl on the right.  I have some fashion faux-pas for guys too but this blog will be geared towards the ladies (unless you’re a drag queen or a transvestite).  Because let’s face it, we all know that it’s your girlfriend, wife, momma who dresses you.  And if they can’t dress for themselves, they probably suck at dressing you too. But what the heck, guys can read the blog and learn something or two as well concerning the ladies.  Next time she asks if the pants make her ass look big, you can mumble something along the lines of yes, but actually give her a reason why.

So welcome folks, one and all.  Welcome to Fashion for Dummies.  Thanks for dropping by and come back soon.  In the future, I hope I can increase your fashion IQ points along the way.


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