Fashion for Dummies

Since spring is upon us, the fashion diva went sunglasses shopping and came back with a pair of cool looking Ralph Lauren polarized sunglasses.  I thought this would be a good topic for a post since it’s important to have sun protection for the eyes and take every opportunity to look good at the same time.

First things first.  Despite the fact that you can get anything from oversized sunglasses to small John Lennon sunglasses, the basic principles of picking any type of glasses remain the same.  It is based on the shape of your face.

I have a square face so I try to soften it up by selecting frames that are egg shape oval.  The same thing goes for rectangular faces, as round and oval shapes will work best.

The converse is true for round faces.  You need to offset the curves with angular lines.  Rectangular frames will look good on you.

For diamond faces that are narrow at the eyeline, you’re trying to widen this part of the face.  Oval frames or detailing in the frames should highlight this part of the face.

You have two types of triagular faces.  One that widens at the chin or tapers off at the chin.  For a base-down triangle, just like the diamond faces, you’re trying to draw attention to the eyes.  To add width to the top part of the face, try bold colors.   For a base-up triangle face,   the opposite is true.  You’re trying to de-emphasize the widest part of your face so rimless glasses will work well.

Finally, if you have an oval face, count yourself lucky as anything goes for you!

Another thing you want to consider is the depth of your face.  For a flat face, you want flat sunglasses.   This can become an issue when you have your heart set on a plastic pair of sunglasses that look great for your face shape but just won’t sit on your nose and have no nose pads unlike metal frames.  Do not fear because if people want something, they will always find a solution.  You can glue silicone nose pads yourself to give it some height on your nose.  And if you have a high bridged nose, your options are more varied.  You can get try on those curved frame athletic frames which won’t work for a flatter face at all.  As you can probably tell, I know from experience since I have a flat face.

The last thing that is specific to sunglasses is that you must make sure they will protect you to UV rays.  Look for the sticker and be aware of cheap sunglasses as they just spray some coating on and sell it to you as UV protection.  While it is true, the coating doesn’t last long.  So don’t take chances with your eyes and get good eye protection from a reputable sunglasses place.


Hello, and welcome to Fashion for Dummies.  As you can probably tell, this blog is to help with all the fashion disasters in the world.  And I know there are a lot among you because I see you every day wherever I go.  I see you at work, malls, and restaurants.  There’s no respite for the visual assault.  I guess that’s why I’m starting this blog – so I can save my own sanity and eyesight.

Despite my online nickname, I’m really not fashion’s diva.  In fact, I come from the geeky side of the tracks.  I never knew how to dress myself either, or put on makeup and such.  But there comes a day when everyone of the XX chromosome variety needs to learn and just be girly and feminine in order to fit in to everyday society.  And we do live on Earth, folks.

I know, I know.  You’re probably cringing as you recall those vapid and insidiously vain individuals who don’t have two brain cells together but boy, can they coordinate!  But as this post is entitled, it’s “How to Dress Like a Normal Person”.   Because other than those really put together people who stand out, guess who else stands out?  The hideously dressed as well!  Therefore, you are put on the spotlight just for being known as someone who can’t dress.  You know the show “What Not to Wear?”  They don’t makeover the average.  They only makeover the true fashion disasters.  So why don’t we aim for something modest and go for just dressing like a normal person.

Oh by the way, this blog is mainly aimed towards females – hence, the girl on the right.  I have some fashion faux-pas for guys too but this blog will be geared towards the ladies (unless you’re a drag queen or a transvestite).  Because let’s face it, we all know that it’s your girlfriend, wife, momma who dresses you.  And if they can’t dress for themselves, they probably suck at dressing you too. But what the heck, guys can read the blog and learn something or two as well concerning the ladies.  Next time she asks if the pants make her ass look big, you can mumble something along the lines of yes, but actually give her a reason why.

So welcome folks, one and all.  Welcome to Fashion for Dummies.  Thanks for dropping by and come back soon.  In the future, I hope I can increase your fashion IQ points along the way.

et cetera